Home

Local Woman Tries To Play Video Game

February 10, 2009 by myka

KALAMAZOO - Shocking news today in Kalamazoo, MI, as a WOMAN, that's right, a HUMAN FEMALE, attempted to play a video game.

Mrs. Brianna Poole, a Michigan native, heard from a male friend that video games are fun. While no woman has yet to successfully play a video game other than Nintendogs, she still decided that she would try her hand at the much more complicated, Killzone 2.

Mrs. Poole got into traditional female gaming clothing, a skimpy tank top and bikini bottoms, and started a mission.

That is, she would have started a mission, had she been able to figure out how to turn on the Xbox 360.

"I just don't get it. Videos games is be sooooo hard, and I'm just a silly woman." said Brianna when asked about her ordeal, and then gently caressed her bossom with chocolate covered strawberries. She continued "I think that I'll stick to being objectified for the enjoyment of men, afterall, thats what gets to the frontpage of Digg."

At TwoBitNews.com, we believe that one day, ONE DAY, if we keep the dream alive, a woman may be able to figure out how to play a video game.

In the historic words of Martin Luther King, Jr "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of it's creed: 'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal and women can also be pretty decent at video games.'" [Editors Note: He didn't say that exactly.]

Your rating: None Average: 6.4 (5 votes)
Permalink
  • Add new comment

Comments

They don't need games, we give them a big thing to play with...

February 10, 2009 by Jack Belmont, 2 days 12 hours ago
Comment id: 41

10

A dream that we will one day pay attention to them over killing a hooker. You know for some people that hooker thing may be more real than you think, then that's really a problem. Oh and I didn't rate this awesome, I just rated myself awesome.

Cute, Very Cute.

February 10, 2009 by SSXallnight, 2 days 13 hours ago
Comment id: 40

I'VE NEVER PLAYED NINTENDOGS, IN MY LIFE, EVER!


Games Gone Wrong

Games Gone Wrong: Marvel Ultimate Appliance
February, 12, 2009
Games Gone Wrong: Killzone 2: Layoffs
January, 29, 2009

Comic

Great Moments In Gaming - ESRB
February, 8, 2009

Horoscopes

Don't Be An Idiot

AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18
Recheck your credit card balance -- if you're close to the limit, now is the time to settle up. There are lots of ways to manage debt like shaking trees and selling the apples that fall out. If you didn't understand this piece of advice, it's because you don't play Animal Crossing, and therefore, are not a complete idiot. Congratulations.

Features

Top Ten Things You Can Learn By Watching Red Vs. Blue

February 9, 2009 by SSXallnight

Any gamer worth his snuff is familiar with Red Vs. Blue, but not a lot of people realize the educational value of the Halo-based machinima. If you're one of the unfortunates who isn't cool enough to know about the hilarious internet series; here is a list of things you would know if you didn't spend so much time doing your homework or actually showing up on time to your job.

Your rating: None Average: 8 (1 vote)

5 Steps To Become A Pretentious Asshole

November 29, 2008 by myka

Pretentious Bunny

Sometimes just knowing something isn't enough. To truly appreciate knowledge, one must draw attention mercilessly to themselves. So, Two Bit News is happy to present this top list to sounding like a pretentious asshole, or guide if you prefer deriving from the latin word meaning "full of information" (more on this later!).

Your rating: None Average: 9 (1 vote)

Top 7 things to do while waiting for a Playstation 3 game install

June 19, 2008 by myka

Snake is bored waiting for MGS4 install

Being a Playstation 3 owner you're going to have a little bit of free time with those mandatory installs for games like Devil May Cry 4 and Metal Gear Solid 4 and any other games with 4 in it. Here are the top 7 ways for you to kill some time.

Your rating: None Average: 4.5 (2 votes)