Local Woman Tries To Play Video Game

February 10, 2009 by myka

KALAMAZOO - Shocking news today in Kalamazoo, MI, as a WOMAN, that's right, a HUMAN FEMALE, attempted to play a video game.

Mrs. Brianna Poole, a Michigan native, heard from a male friend that video games are fun. While no woman has yet to successfully play a video game other than Nintendogs, she still decided that she would try her hand at the much more complicated, Killzone 2.

Mrs. Poole got into traditional female gaming clothing, a skimpy tank top and bikini bottoms, and started a mission.

That is, she would have started a mission, had she been able to figure out how to turn on the Xbox 360.

"I just don't get it. Videos games is be sooooo hard, and I'm just a silly woman." said Brianna when asked about her ordeal, and then gently caressed her bossom with chocolate covered strawberries. She continued "I think that I'll stick to being objectified for the enjoyment of men, afterall, thats what gets to the frontpage of Digg."

At TwoBitNews.com, we believe that one day, ONE DAY, if we keep the dream alive, a woman may be able to figure out how to play a video game.

In the historic words of Martin Luther King, Jr "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of it's creed: 'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal and women can also be pretty decent at video games.'" [Editors Note: He didn't say that exactly.]

Your rating: None Average: 6.6 (8 votes)

Comments

They don't need games, we give them a big thing to play with...

February 10, 2009 by Jack Belmont, 1 week 4 days ago
Comment id: 41

10

A dream that we will one day pay attention to them over killing a hooker. You know for some people that hooker thing may be more real than you think, then that's really a problem. Oh and I didn't rate this awesome, I just rated myself awesome.

Cute, Very Cute.

February 10, 2009 by SSXallnight, 1 week 4 days ago
Comment id: 40

I'VE NEVER PLAYED NINTENDOGS, IN MY LIFE, EVER!


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Is my girlfriend really interested in video games?

February 21, 2008 by myka

Dear Mercedes, My girl says she's interested in video games, but whenever I talk about them for more than 30 minutes, she gets a glazed look and seems annoyed.

Your rating: None Average: 9.3 (3 votes)

How can I pick up more women?

February 10, 2008 by myka

About Mercedes and this column:
So this traipse into column-self-worship/thinly-veiled-right-to-brag
has been a long time coming. I've only been in existence for 25 years
(and sleeping around/making out for about 11 of them) so I am sure many
of you are wondering what makes me so qualified to be giving anyone

Your rating: None Average: 7.3 (3 votes)