Two Bit News - The Top Video Games Humor Source

Video Game Hottie Hall of Fame - Layla Kayleigh

MindBody — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 12:59:35 +0000

We can barely pronounce her name, but we have about a 60% literacy rate among our staff so that may have something to do with it. Layla Kayleigh has a segment on G4TV called The Feed and is also one of the hosts of MTV's America's Best Dance Crew and a welcome addition I might add given the lack of eye-candy on that show (we're looking at you, Mario). Though she's relegated to working the performers backstage, we see big things in her future, and we mean that in the least pervy way possible. A Brit of African, Mediterreanean, and Middle-Eastern mix, her exotic looks and quick wit do well to keep us watching. Its just a matter of time before they start filming in 3-D and then all our dreams will become day hallucinations. (pictures after the jump)

Local Man Photoshops Tetris High Score

myka — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 11:00:00 +0000

JACKSON - A new world record has been set by a local man in Jackson, MS. Joel Bradson has become the first American to photoshop a Tetris highscore of 100 MILLION points.

Previous attempts to fool us into believing greatness reached only as high as 200,000 points. Joel has taken the rules of the game and bent them backwards.

"Not everyone can be great..." said Joel humbly when asked about his new record, "...but anyone can download Photoshop and fake it." Great words from a fakely great man that also happens to be an average level photoshop user.

Download Free Games - For Money at Amazon.com!

myka — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 19:30:07 +0000

SEATTLE - Amazon has released a beta program allowing for game downloads. (You can find it here.)

They feature all the favorite games you've been playing free online for years, except now you get to pay for them!

Sure sure, theres also some nice discounted stuff in there if you dredge around a bit (like the 3 free games you can find by clicking here.), but for the most part it's a bunch of flash games turned to $10 downloads.

Don't get me wrong, It works seamlessly as you'd expect from a gigantic behemoth of a website like Amazon, but for my $10 I'd rather download somethin from XBOX Live! or Wiiware.

Find any hot games we missed? Hit the comments.

Mario Kart Wii sells 8.94M in 2008; Huge Mushroom Kingdom Lawsuit Follows

myka — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:06:17 +0000

MY BASEMENT - It was reported today by Gamespot.com that Mario Kart Wii sold 8.94 Mllion copies in 2008. While a great debate could be waged over the success being a result of a finely crafted family game or if people just like to spin cheap pieces of plastic around like idiots, thats neither here nor there at the moment. The one thing for certain that everyone thinks about when they think "Mario Kart" is heated and bitter legal battles! More details after the jump.

Attempted robbery at Gamestop in Solon, OH ends with one casualty: Good Taste.

myka — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 04:25:43 +0000

CLEVELAND - The Plain Dealer reported that a Gamestop in Solon, OH was involved in an attempted robbery.

It resulted in a standoff that eventually ended peacefully when the assailants were apprehended.

No charges were pressed as the criminals were simply trying to steal only old copies of the Eragon movie game. Apparently they were vigilantes trying to prevent any future children from being subjected to the horror of accidentally getting it as a gift.

One man's criminal is another man's hero.

A.D.D. Report: DJ Hero announced by Activision Blizzard

myka — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 17:16:58 +0000

A.D.D. Report is the place where people who don't have patience ...blah blah blah.... get your news fast!

TODAY'S TOPIC: DJ Hero announced by Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick

What you need to know before you go back to hardcore raving:

It's being developed by FreeStyleGames
Chicks dig DJs, it's fact, but this won't apply to you playing with plastic turntables
UNLESS, you find yourself a gamer woman, gamer women really dig fake DJs
DJ Hero will drop in 2009
May includes a scratch platter, three buttons for sampling, a cross fader, and a sound-effects dial
Soon Activision Blizzard with own the world, look for them to soon acquire copyrights on REAL instruments.

That's it! Now go back to your Super Bowl preparations!

'Duck Hunt' Knock-off Removed From iPhone App Store: What's Next? 3 Others To Watch Out For

myka — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 05:31:28 +0000

Macworld reports that a game very similar to 'Duck Hunt' was removed from the iPhone app store due to copyright infringements.

Thats the understatement of thee century, it's basically the exact same game except with no crappy lightgun to piss you off with infinite misses because you didn't calibrate it within 1 nanometer of the TV's corners.

Other games expected to be pulled off the market are: (after the jump!)

Wii Punch-Out and the Wii Wish List: Duck Hunt, Contra, among others.

myka — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 22:15:55 +0000

Nintendo announced today that Punch-Out will be coming to the Wii early this year.

This begs the question, what other super obvious ports is Nintendo finally gonna get off their ass and give us?

WAKEUP NINTENDO, YOU'VE GOT MOTION SENSITIVE EQUIPMENT AND A SUPER ACCURATE LIGHT GUN TECHNOLOGY. USE THEM.

Enough with Animal Crossing and crappy platformers. Let's see some lightsabers and classics brought back to life!

Which games would you like to see updated on the Wii? Here is our list (after the jump!):

Games Gone Wrong: Killzone 2: Layoffs

myka — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:20:48 +0000

In a world where war runs rampant on foreign shores there is more to fear in your hometown than meets the eye......

BEWARE THE ECONOMY.

New from Sony, is the sequel to Killzone. Killzone 2: Layoffs.

Players must survive harsh economic times and scrape together every penny in order to afford a second controller so you can play with a friend.

Tackel the gut busting diet of nothing but $1 hamburgers and 2 for a buck Tacos from Jack In the Box. If you survive the night on the toilet, you'll find even more danger lurking around ever corner as you dodge former executives that are now homeless and after your spare change!

Killzone: when the economy gets tough, the tough shop at 99 cent stores.

Lost Sigur Ros member found, video game to be continued.

kt — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:30:36 +0000

Much to the relief of the band Sigur Ros, the countrymen of Iceland, and a sparse group of followers consisting of NYU film students and transients from Portland, Oregon, the lost member has been discovered and found to have been ruling over a large colony of rabbits in the forest in which the group was previously taking promotional photos.