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Local Man Photoshops Tetris High Score

February 4, 2009 by myka

JACKSON - A new world record has been set by a local man in Jackson, MS. Joel Bradson has become the first American to photoshop a Tetris highscore of 100 MILLION points.

Previous attempts to fool us into believing greatness reached only as high as 200,000 points. Joel has taken the rules of the game and bent them backwards.

"Not everyone can be great..." said Joel humbly when asked about his new record, "...but anyone can download Photoshop and fake it." Great words from a fakely great man that also happens to be an average level photoshop user.

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Don't Be An Idiot

AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18
Recheck your credit card balance -- if you're close to the limit, now is the time to settle up. There are lots of ways to manage debt like shaking trees and selling the apples that fall out. If you didn't understand this piece of advice, it's because you don't play Animal Crossing, and therefore, are not a complete idiot. Congratulations.

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This issue has been bothering me for a few months now and I wanted to get it off my chest.

I still remember how amazing it was playing the original Tony Hawk Pro Skater for Dreamcast (yes, Dreamcast, get off my back, it was amazing.) and it absolutely blowing my mind. Finally a game that made you feel like you were in control of a real skater from the get go, but also with the potential for mind blowing stunts not possible in real life.

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I'm not going to bore you with my opinion of how much the sensitivity levels of the drums suck, or how awesome it is that you can trick your girlfriend into playing a video game with you. You can read that shit on some other website that actually cares if you're informed. Micah and KT are here to enterain and, of course, educate!

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Dear Mercedes, I've been single for almost 4 years now, and I'm getting really desperate for some companionship. My friend met his current girlfriend by playing World of Warcraft, but that seems a little weird, even for me. Do you think playing online games is a reasonable way to meet women?

Short answer: No.

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Dear Mercedes, My girl says she's interested in video games, but whenever I talk about them for more than 30 minutes, she gets a glazed look and seems annoyed.