Blizzard Skips E3 2009; Too Busy Counting Money

February 6, 2009 by myka

IRVINE -Reps for super mogul company Activision Blizzard are reporting that they will skip E3 2009 in it's entirety.

This is a blow to loyal fans of the game makers series Starcraft and Diablo that were hoping for a playable demo for the newest installments of each.

When asked why they were sitting this one out reps offered no comment as they were too busy wading through piles of cash generated by World of Warcraft monthly recurring subscriptions.

We followed up wondering if the company cared that many loyal fans would be dissapointed by the announcement, and while again they declined to comment we are pretty sure we heard the sound of riotous laughter coming through the money vault doors.


Games Gone Wrong

Horoscopes

AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18
Recheck your credit card balance -- if you're close to the limit, now is the time to settle up. There are lots of ways to manage debt like shaking trees and selling the apples that fall out. If you didn't understand this piece of advice, it's because you don't play Animal Crossing, and therefore, are not a complete idiot. Congratulations.

Opinion

Tony Hawk video games are the new Madden NFL

January 2, 2009 by myka

This issue has been bothering me for a few months now and I wanted to get it off my chest.

I still remember how amazing it was playing the original Tony Hawk Pro Skater for Dreamcast (yes, Dreamcast, get off my back, it was amazing.) and it absolutely blowing my mind. Finally a game that made you feel like you were in control of a real skater from the get go, but also with the potential for mind blowing stunts not possible in real life.

Features

5 Steps To Become A Pretentious Asshole

November 29, 2008 by myka

Pretentious Bunny

Sometimes just knowing something isn't enough. To truly appreciate knowledge, one must draw attention mercilessly to themselves. So, Two Bit News is happy to present this top list to sounding like a pretentious asshole, or guide if you prefer deriving from the latin word meaning "full of information" (more on this later!).

Top 7 things to do while waiting for a Playstation 3 game install

June 19, 2008 by myka

Snake is bored waiting for MGS4 install

Being a Playstation 3 owner you're going to have a little bit of free time with those mandatory installs for games like Devil May Cry 4 and Metal Gear Solid 4 and any other games with 4 in it. Here are the top 7 ways for you to kill some time.