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Ten Found Frozen in Activision Blizzard Merger

Celebrations over the impending merger were cut short last Friday
when ten former Activision employees were found frozen in Blizzard HQ. "We don't understand how it could have happened" said Blizzard
spokesperson Jennifer White. "He's usually so friendly." When asked for
further comment White looked alarmed and ran off.

No one else was available for comment immediately after the
incident, but the CEO of Blizzard, Mr A. Snowman released the following
statement earlier today:

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Games Gone Wrong

Super Fucking New New Super Mario Bros.
November, 17, 2009
Rockband: Kanye West
September, 18, 2009

Comic

Great Moments In Gaming - Mario Can Jump
November, 6, 2009

Horoscopes

Don't Be An Idiot

AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18
Recheck your credit card balance -- if you're close to the limit, now is the time to settle up. There are lots of ways to manage debt like shaking trees and selling the apples that fall out. If you didn't understand this piece of advice, it's because you don't play Animal Crossing, and therefore, are not a complete idiot. Congratulations.

Features

Top 5 Events You Shouldn't Invite Your WoW Guild To

March 11, 2009 by Micah Bleich

You love your guildmates, well, as much as you can love people you mostly only interact with online anyways, but what if you did see them more off-line? We'd like to help you avoid ruining your life as much as possible, so here is a list of the 5 events you probably shouldn't bring them to.

Image of Dancing Dwarf from WoWguru.com

Your rating: None Average: 6.8 (61 votes)

Top Ten Things You Can Learn By Watching Red Vs. Blue

February 9, 2009 by SSXallnight

Any gamer worth his snuff is familiar with Red Vs. Blue, but not a lot of people realize the educational value of the Halo-based machinima. If you're one of the unfortunates who isn't cool enough to know about the hilarious internet series; here is a list of things you would know if you didn't spend so much time doing your homework or actually showing up on time to your job.

Your rating: None Average: 7 (9 votes)

5 Steps To Become A Pretentious Asshole

November 29, 2008 by Micah Bleich

Pretentious Bunny

Sometimes just knowing something isn't enough. To truly appreciate knowledge, one must draw attention mercilessly to themselves. So, Two Bit News is happy to present this top list to sounding like a pretentious asshole, or guide if you prefer deriving from the latin word meaning "full of information" (more on this later!).

Your rating: None Average: 7.2 (13 votes)