In strange turn of events, sandwich eats man.

February 6, 2009 by Jack Belmont

WISCONSIN - Rich Hamil came home after a long day, kissed his dog rubbed his wife’s ears and sat down to watch some TV. His wife Ella, was reportedly going out to visit family. She then told her husband to make himself a sandwich if he was ever hungry, but when she came home, he was gone.

Ella quickly called the police “When we arrived we searched for any type of forced entrance” but there was no forced entrance, only a sandwich sitting on the table. “I had to call the sheriff, this was too much” an officer said. When Sheriff Sheriff arrived he quickly began his investigation “I had a hunch” he said “I just needed to prove it”.

After two hours of searching police only found the man’s shoes on the kitchen floor “It was a dead give away where he went” the sheriff said “Sandwiches don’t eat shoes”. As police finished investigating and wandered back down to the kitchen they noticed the sandwich attempting to escape through the window, after a brief struggle the suspect was apprehended. The sandwich will go on trial later this month, it’s lawyer has issued a statement ”What my client did was in self defence, and I believe he will walk”
We will bring you more on this story as it unfolds.

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Games Gone Wrong

Comic

February, 8, 2009

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Recheck your credit card balance -- if you're close to the limit, now is the time to settle up. There are lots of ways to manage debt like shaking trees and selling the apples that fall out. If you didn't understand this piece of advice, it's because you don't play Animal Crossing, and therefore, are not a complete idiot. Congratulations.

Features

Is my girlfriend really interested in video games?

February 21, 2008 by myka

Dear Mercedes, My girl says she's interested in video games, but whenever I talk about them for more than 30 minutes, she gets a glazed look and seems annoyed.

Your rating: None Average: 9.3 (3 votes)

How can I pick up more women?

February 10, 2008 by myka

About Mercedes and this column:
So this traipse into column-self-worship/thinly-veiled-right-to-brag
has been a long time coming. I've only been in existence for 25 years
(and sleeping around/making out for about 11 of them) so I am sure many
of you are wondering what makes me so qualified to be giving anyone

Your rating: None Average: 7.3 (3 votes)