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How to Properly Comment on a Blog Post
February 25, 2009 by Micah Bleich
Have you ever been reading a blog post or some other form on online article and really wanted to let the author know how you felt? Well, I'm sure like the rest of us, you've become frustrated at some point or another of not knowing what the proper protocol is. Well fret no more people of the internets, TwoBitNews is here to help. Simply follow the step by step guide below and you'll be a pro-blog commenter in no time!
STEP 1:
Decide whether you agree wholeheartedly with the author or you hate him and want him to die. There is no in between. Don't be a pussy, the internet was born from fanaticism.
STEP 2:
Address the author directly to start. Since you undoubtably chose to hate them in step 1, next choose from the approved list of "names":
- Asshat
- Idiot
- Fuckhead
- Fartface
- Picklebuffer
Alternatively, you can simply choose a deragatory or cuss word and combine it with an animal or body part, for example Fuckpoodle or Nazibreath.
For example: "Hey Fuckface."
STEP 3:
All appropriate discourse on the internet then continues on with an insult. This shows you really care. A fan favorite and most simple is "you suck.", however, feel free to get creative here. For example "You're the dumbest son of a bitch ever."
STEP 4:
Decide which part of the article you hated most, and draw attention to it OR use lots of exclamation points to cover up the fact that you have no real point to address. For example: "The whole thing sucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
STEP 5:
Before you post your comment, make sure you remove all semblance of grammar or punctuation, otherwise people might understand you by mistake! Also, don't forget to capitilize the whole thing!
STEP 6:
Put it all together and post it!
For example: HEY FUCKTARD, UR SUCH A GAY JEW DUMB SHIT U ARE!!!SO GAY NAZI U DON'T EVEN HAVE A PENIS!!!U ARNT SMART U BITCHSTUPID DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See that people? It only takes about a minute to make the internet a better place, and you thought helping people was hard.
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