Mario Kart Wii sells 8.94M in 2008; Huge Mushroom Kingdom Lawsuit Follows

February 2, 2009 by Micah Bleich

MY BASEMENT - It was reported today by Gamespot.com that Mario Kart Wii sold 8.94 Mllion copies in 2008. While a great debate could be waged over the success being a result of a finely crafted family game or if people just like to spin cheap pieces of plastic around like idiots, thats neither here nor there at the moment. The one thing for certain that everyone thinks about when they think "Mario Kart" is heated and bitter legal battles! More details after the jump.

No, there is not going to be a Phoenix Wright: Ace Mushroom Attorney game anytime soon. The real story is behind the schenes at the Mushroom Kingdom castle. It seems that most of the Kart game's cast is incensed that Mario recieves such a huge cut of the over $50,000,000 raised by the sales.

"It's not fair, he's not even one of the better racers!" said Toad angrily, either upset over the lawsuit or that his body shaped and color is essentially a diseased penis.

We tracked Mario down for comment. While he refused to officially offer comment, we overheard him talking on his cell phone to someone he reffered to as "The Mushroom Slinger" saying he was "Jonesin' bad for some of that crazy shit he had last time." He also went on to say "I don't care if she needs the money, I'm telling you, it ain't my baby."

Riiiight Mario, it's probably some other huge headed blue overall wearing gigantic nosed plumbers baby.

The last thing we'd want to do at Two Bit News is speculate, and we're not sure who exactly will win this legal contest, but we're pretty sure Mario is a crackhead and a deadbeat dad.

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